Jessie J is opening up about the break she was forced to take from singing as a result of a painful throat condition.
On Thursday (June 17), the 33-year-old singer revealed that she developed nodules on her vocal cords — after she began treatment for Ménière’s disease — that affected her singing abilities.
"The first song I sang was 'I Want Love.' Just hearing myself sing it and feel[ing] so vulnerable whilst singing bought me to tears," she captioned a tearful video, which she said she sent to her speech therapist as part of her ongoing treatment, of her singing in a soft voice. "I have never ever to this day (since recording it) been able to sing it because of the pain I am experiencing. Man it's been hard not singing."
"It's literally my lifeline and my happiness. Being quiet is not something I'm good at. Or makes me feel like myself. Lord knows I'm loud af," she continued. "It was in that moment I knew I needed to be honest with myself and honest with you all about where I am at and explain what is going on… To be totally real, to have your support and love would help me get through this faster I'm sure."
"I’ve always been honest however hard it feels. It’s important to be strong enough to be weak. Especially on a platform like this," Jessie wrote before continuing her caption on her Instagram Story.
"In February, I started to feel a burn in my throat constantly. I ignored it for a bit as I presumed it was fatigue from the studio," she wrote. "When I went to see a doctor I was told I have major acid reflux and nodules because I have continued to sing with acid reflux which was probably caused by the steroids I had taken for my ear late last year."
Back in December, the Grammy-nominated artist announced that she was diagnosed with Ménière’s disease — an inner ear disorder that can cause vertigo and hearing loss.
Jessie went on to explain on her Instagram Story that the acid reflux caused her vocal cords to "spasm together" and she developed blisters in her throat. While she said she "immediately" went on antacids and a "2 week no talking run" to "rectify" her issue, "it didn't work," she wrote. And neither did switching her medication.
"I have had 8 cameras down my nose to look by 6 different doctors now. I ate the same 6 foods for 3 months," Jessie explained before listing the treatments she's tried, including acupuncture, massages, and "soul work."
"I am still in pain everyday," she wrote. "With rest and little talking/singing the nodules melted away. Like Olaf in the sun. But every doctor has told me if I sing (especially these songs) the nodules will just come right back."
While Jessie noted that her acid reflux "is still yet to be resolved" and she is "still seeing different doctors," she shared that she and her team chose to go ahead with the release of her latest single "I Want Love" for her fans.
"I felt confident we could do it as did they," the "Price Tag" singer wrote. "Maybe we were right, maybe we were wrong. But the passion and fire was and it's still there for these songs and I felt it so important for you to have new music and it be out for summer."
"I am not telling you this for pity but for understanding why I haven't done any promo," she explained. "I have been heartbroken to turn things down."
Jessie concluded her post with a message of hope, writing, "The truth is, I say it on stage all the time. My biggest lesson my whole life has been my health. And I'm in it. Living it. This is my life and I know I'm being faced with this because I can handle it."